January 27, 2012
Shut the fuck up. Don’t eat my pizza. Go running more. Don’t fart.
A new list of demands for 2012. 
December 5, 2011 • 1 note
You’d be good at that, you fat fucking pig. Squealing like a bitch.
Told her I’m auditioning for a pig
October 31, 2011
I’ll pinch you in your bung hole when I see you tonight. Really hard. I’ll turn it from brown to red. You won’t be saying outchie or ewy. You’ll be calling me Queen Majesty and asking me to have mercy.
I don’t know what about, but… okay.
September 29, 2011
I’ll just wet my pussy with my tears.
Thought she’d be too sad to have sex later.
September 27, 2011 • 3 notes

Wow

Her: I've been there before. For a drink.
Me: Yeah? With who?
Her: Your dad's little jew cock.
Her: DONT REPEAT THAT
September 13, 2011 • 3 notes
Give her the ol’ cunt kick. CK. Don’t repeat that. We can use the c-word with each other because we love each other and are both cunt-loving people. Ok?
Ok.
September 12, 2011 • 1 note
It’s always open baby. Even right now. Well, it’s plugged right now.
Re: her vagina
September 8, 2011 • 1 note
E.T. butt-fucking Elliot. Such a weird image. “EEEELLLIIIIIIOOOT” in his little alien voice.
Unwarranted and completely out of context.
August 31, 2011 • 1 note
You talk like a guy who used to work at Hollister.
I do not.
August 9, 2011
I pretend that I need to get something from under my desk and I crawl underneath it and let it out, sniff it up and sit back down.
Re: office farts